Oral pleasure. Not.

Sadly, the title doesn't refer to anything good. No, had to spend couple hours in dentist chair to take care of chipped tooth. Is that a sign I'm definitely getting old? Or not just getting, but am old? Mouth isn't meant to be open for that long. At least for that.

Wish I had something exciting to write. But no luck. Dull day at work, although I did get to tell someone who's not my client to fuck off. Usually I save that for my people. That's the kind of quality representation I provide. They do have to be stupid first to earn a fuck off. I don't pass those out to just anyone. Sadly, they all are pretty stupid. And even the ones you think might be ok end up being stupid. Thankfully, I've never been stupid.

So what else should I write about tonight? Probably shouldn't write anything. I can tell you how closeted I am I guess. Pretty much no one knows, at least from me. Aside from guys I've been with, I tink there are 4-5 people I've told. My good friend from work, the wife of another friend, a friend from high school who drunkenly asked me at a reunion, and a woman I gave a ride home to as a designated driver whose husband accused her of having an affair with me. Figured it could be something to throw in his face if he kept being an idiot. So that's the whole list. Pretty pathetic for a 40 year old.

I always figured I'd have to tell the family when I got in a relationship. Of course when I was thinking that, I didn't think I'd be in an intercontinental relationship. The family have met him and like him, but as far as I know, they just think he's a friend. Maybe someday I'll have the balls.

Hump Day

Alas, don't think there will actually be any humping today. Blah day. Didn't feel like going in to work so used up a sick day. And then still went in to the office around 4. Get bored at home too easily.

So everyone I've really hooked up with in the last 10 years or so I met from the internet. Is that as pathetic as it sounds? Probably. So today I got to talk to someone again I had one of those great chats with the first time around. But the magic was gone. Straight guy. Guess straighter than I had originally thought. Still nice, but it was over. He was so good for the ego for one night, but that's all it's meant to be I guess.

I felt the same spark with my guy the first time we chatted, but that spark still goes on. Coming up on 8 years now. Just wish he was here with me, not just a few weeks a year. Then again, may never have gotten to 8 years if he was around all the time.

Blah.

TGIF

Technically it's now Saturday I guess. Was a long day of basketball in the office. Not much law practiced. Except for the woman who showed up for her 2:00 appointment at 4:00. On a Friday. Seriously. Who does that? Not that I don't technically work til 5, but the brain stops way earlier, especially during March Madness. And my team won today. Woohoo. Always embarassing to go out in the first round.

So after work went to my buddy's place. Was hoping he would be alone, but the wife got back a few minutes after I got there. Not that I don't like her or anything like that, but I just like the back and forth my buddy and I have when we're alone. God that sounds gay. Oh wait..........

So I get back home around 10, and I get a message that one of the guys I've met recently wants to meet again. The body was weak. We met. Physically, he's so far out of my league. Not a huge fan of tats, which he's covered in, but I can overlook them for the softness of his skin. I guess he'd be considered African American. Or mixed. Or whatever. Not that it's really ever mattered to me. But he's a straight boy, just one who wants to be fucked. Never really understood that, but I don't doubt he's essentially straight. Sadly, I was a terrible fuck tonight. Too much beer earlier I guess. And once the mind gets involved during the act, things go downhill. Still he was nice about it. Hopefully he'll want to meet again, if for no other reason than so I can massage his neck and scalp and lick behind his ear. He definitely seems to like that. Ahhh, the simple things.

Happy Thursday

Could I be more amused that the Big East bit it today? No, I couldn't.

Pretty quiet day today. As everyone on the east coast knows, the weather has been perfect. Which means the office empties early. Which means I was bored early. When the work day is done, the social life is mostly over until the next day. How sad is that to write?

Hopefully I'm not that pathetic. I like to think I'm just a victim of circumstance. The circumstance being I'm in a smallish town where all my friends are married, some with kids. Since I'm not from around here, I pretty much just knows the people I work with. There's no gay life to speak of here. They did open up a gay bar in town, but judging from some pix I've seen on the internet, I won't be headed there anytime soon. Skeezy.

So how do I stay sane? I get to talk to my man. He's far far away, but thank you skype. I shouldn't be satisfied with that. But he's the one I love, and who ever wants to fall out of love? Now we're trying to find out when we're going to be together again. We have weeks together, months apart. For 8 years now. Even without having him with me, he still makes me feel whole.

I'll write more about when I don't end up sounding like a complete sap.

Happy St. Patty's Day

Just home after long afternoon of drinking in honor of the day. Followed by the traditional Irish meal of the Tour of Italy at Olive Garden.

My office is in a hole of a shopping center. One of the few perks is the stereotypical hole in the wall bar down the strip. Luckily for all, I had the brilliant idea to call it an early day and adjourn to the bar. 9 of us ended up down there, including my closest friend from work and the real world. Tebow was constantly on the TV for an hour, or so it seemed, and so my buddy was subjected to me at my gayest. I really shouldn't dislike Tebow the way I do, but it is what it is. That said, the man is undeniably hot. So after several beers, the impure thoughts needed to be voiced.

My buddy is the one guy that knows about me. Aside from the guys that have been with me. Had to fess up to him in a moment of HIV panic. All for nothing thankfully. But he has been cool about it. I just feel bad for him when he has to listen to me be OTT gay. Which I can be after I've had a few. He laughs, but I have to wonder what goes thru his straight guy head.

Buzz is wearing off so it's time to end this for the night. Have fun out there, no one in particular.

Hey strangers

So what are you supposed to do here? Should I pretend that I have deep thoughts and the solutions to life's mysteries? Should I admit that I miss all of the subtext and symbolism in an episode of Lost, because I pretty much just like to stay on the surface of things? Guess one is just supposed to start with the basics. That's about all I can focus on during an episode of the Golden Girls anyway.

I'm soon to be 40something. I graduated Phi Beta Kappa, motherfucker. (My office would laugh at that quote. I'll explain another time.) Have lived all of my life in the MidAtlantic. 18 years in my home state, 4 in another for college, 3 in another for law school, and now 15+ where I'm working. I like to think I live in the far reaches of the DC suburbs now, but I'm just fooling myself. You know you're in the sticks when your choices of a sit down dinner are Applebees and Ruby Tuesdays.

I practice law for a living. Someday maybe I'll even perfect it. Spend most of my days dealing with idiots who can't stay out of trouble. It's a paycheck.

I'm a nonflaming member of the gay persuasion, aforementioned Golden Girls viewing notwithstanding. OK, I'm totally gay in my tv viewing - Buffy/Project Runway/ANTM back in the day.

As for the sex life, I've been a whore lately, and don't know why. That'll happen when the one you're supposed to be with is on the other side of the world. Especially when you wonder if you're supposed to be with him. The times together are good, the time apart is way too long. Regardless, I really just need to stop throwing it around like I've done the last couple weeks.

Details to come soon. Not that I imagine anyone will ever find this. Hmmmmm.